Ever since I started my home buying process, I have heard it all. Mainly the following:
Why are you buying a house?
Aren’t you too young?
But you’re not married.
Don’t you want to wait until you meet someone?
How can you afford that?
Don’t you think that will scare guys off?
Honestly, it’s been an endless sea of questions or statements that all are rooted in a place of fear and warped traditional values that should not have a place in 2019. I mean, we have an African American woman as Ariel in The Little Mermaid. It's time to embrace new values. Most of these questions did make me tilt my head and think that most, if not all, of these statements would not even be a thought if I was a man. Someone even asked me if I was pregnant. To say I was flabbergasted, was an understatement. Because yes, all pregnant women should make multi-thousand dollar purchases before going into labor on their new marble tile floor. YOLO am I right? Insert my epic side-eye here.
I found that I responded in similar ways to everyone who felt the need to approach me like that. It’s my decision. It’s a decision I made because I don’t want to put my life on pause and live like some damsel in a tower until the hero of the story shows up. Why can’t I be my own hero? My own savior? If I can’t do these things for myself, why would I just want to let someone else do it for me?
When you buy your first home it’s amazing to see who is actually happy for you, versus who is not. I wrote a blog a while back about female competition and I have seen it a lot with certain women I have told about my home. There's a sharp difference in my female friends that will say how happy for me they are and how proud they are. They say I'm winning. While those who seek to compete with me focus on how many bedrooms I have. What is the square footage like? It truly reveals who is actually here for you in life. If you ever want to know who your true friends are make a major purchase and tell them about it.
Throughout this process I have felt very protective of this knowledge. Protective of my space. Knowing that I will build my life there makes me feel like I have to honor it as a defender. It's my sanctuary. My own truly safe space. Going back to the questions I have received about intimidating men by owning a home, I think that is hilarious. I'm a tall black women with a career and an education. To say I am just now becoming intimidating with the purchase of this home is false. Do I feel like this could potentially limit my dating pool even more? Yes.
With this new chapter starting I'm beyond excited to fill my home with things that make me happy. I'm also excited to decorate and to take my influencer work to the next level. So stay tuned. I hope to take you all on my journey as I look for the best products to use in my home.